Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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