Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
