Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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