he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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