peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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