If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
