even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
