you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
