your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize