i was born a porn star she said
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
