He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
