No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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