I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
this boner is exhausting
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
