fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
