I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
