Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
