He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
