Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
