so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My penis needs a shock collar
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
