id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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