I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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