I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
