Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
