escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
