We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
