During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I cut my penus on the lid.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
i've created a new STD.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
