No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
