Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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