Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
