Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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