Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
