Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
