Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
