Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
