Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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