My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
