And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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