Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
