i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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