Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
