she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
