your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
