What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
