I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The power of my boobs compel you
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
