Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
