Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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