ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
