So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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