Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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