so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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