we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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