Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
