my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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