called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
