Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
No subtext here. People are naked.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
