So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
