I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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