I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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