ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
