Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize