So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
