Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
