Do vagina's smell?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
